


If I...

by RukaIsAFan



Series: Sheith Prompts and Other Little Dabbles [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: And I Must Scream, Angst, Character Dabble, Freeform, M/M, Mind Control, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Spoilers, suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 21:50:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11723259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RukaIsAFan/pseuds/RukaIsAFan
Summary: S3 spoilers and theory based. :)All Shiro wants to do is tell them there is something wrong with him. He can't do that.





	If I...

  
There is an overwhelming sense of fear when he woke up. He doesn't remember how he got here. How he is supposed to get out, but he does. He is one step closer. He thinks it is the end; humans aren't able to survive more than a week. There it is front of him and his hopes rise.

But.

He is aware now of what they may have done to him.

He couldn't talk nor think certain words. It's as if they don't exist in his vocabulary anymore. There's something wrong, _wrong_ , with him. There are the headaches too that fill his head with pain.

And the fact when he wants to scratch the back of his neck... he can't.

There are visions of himself and they don't seem to be of his nightmares where he is floating and imagining what they are doing to him. There's liquid and blackness. He can't call out to the Black Lion anymore, he can't pilot it.

There is something wrong with him, and he knows it as soon as he got back to the castle.

He keeps away from them. From Keith. Distances himself, becomes cold. There is something different and he couldn't figure out what. His mouth closes when he tries to express his fears and his face froze. Keith looks at him differently. Good. Maybe Keith will figure out that something is wrong with him. He has faith in Keith, so much more potential than he ever realizes.

His words are different from his thoughts and he can't stop them from flowing from his mouth. He can't show his agony to them. _What did they do to him?_ This is suffering, not being about to comfort Keith, being there for his team when they need him.

Keith needs him most of all. He hears about it and it breaks his heart when that wrongness lets him. To be able to tell Keith how much he means to him. He's proud of Keith for coming so far and he is happy to able to say it. He wants to free, but no one knows he isn't.

He acts differently, Keith will figure it out. He always does. He hopes Keith does so before he's hurting him. He can't stomach the idea of Keith in pain. Even if there are no wounds on his body, Keith will carry those in his heart. He sees it in him all the time, all those invisible wounds that he carries.

He thinks about ending it if he could. He knows that the wrongness will prevent him, make it so that when he does hurt them all it'll be catastrophic. He wants to cry but he can't, his face is frozen. He can't do that to Keith. Keith lost him once, lost him so many times. He can't hurt Keith again. He doesn't ever want to see Keith in tears.

There is something wrong and he hopes Keith will save him... as many times as it takes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this terrible angst dabble. If you enjoyed or cried or want to throw angry words at me... do so in the form of Kudos, Comments, and Bookmarks as they are always appreciated. 
> 
> My twitter is: [RukaIsAFan](http://www.twitter.com/RukaIsAFan).  
> My tumblr is: [RukaIsAFan](http://RukaIsAFan.tumblr.com).
> 
> SOS - Save Our Shiros. And that means ALL Shiros.


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